Oh no

i was walking
down a quiet hallway
with my friend.
i opened the door
and there you was
standing.
i thought you was cute
and looked away
trying to
get away
from those eyes.
my friend walked up to you
introduced us.
we shook hands
my heart skipped a beat
and i thought
oh no.

World's Biggest Idiot

I think that
for someone who
falls in love with
a person that
can manipulate people
so completely
to the point where
they have already fallen into
the way the manipulator
wants them to think
so deeply
is a fool.
that is why
my brain is in anguish
for it knows
that my heart is a fool
thereby making me
the worlds biggest idiot
for knowing that
i am a fool
and doing nothing
to stop myself.
a fool
for i try to end this
sexual attraction
these secret smiles
the silent laughter
that happens when the manipulator is around

but i cant
this bond that he is weaving is
stronger than i anticipated
he is my enemy
he is my happiness
an i am the worlds
biggest idiot.

College

Im in college and I still cant believe it
am i having fun? am i lonely? am i wanted by those around me?
its so weird, having to watch what you say
the process of making new friends
is very annoying
it makes me slightly
just a pinch
wish i was home again
back to the leeches
that suck me dry
when they knew i had nothing left to give
but at least i knew there function, and didn't have to guess
at what to say, do, think
but I'm in college
I have to grow up
these are suppose to be the best years of my life
so i guess ill try....