Day 2

It's day 2 that I am writing on bloggers.  I had a relapse today.  Even though I know I should be building confidence everyday and reading my bible and putting all of my faith and trust in God, this is a heck of a lot harder than I anticipated.  I started avoiding mirrors again... even though I swore that I would remind myself that I am pretty.  I started getting those annoying thoughts.  You know the one where you start to become slightly be jealous of those around you simply because it seems that your life is the worst compared to all of others.  That their "problems" only cover half the problems that you have in your life.  That your still expected to smile and sympathize with someone complaining of too many boys knocking on their doors when you have no one.  When you hear people with 4.0's complain about how they are disappointed they got a 39 on their mcat's instead of a 40.  When you want to complain to your parents and just drop out of college so that you can lay down and your room and think of nothing for the rest of your life (lol a huge exaggeration there).
Okay, let me stop being depressing.  I am one who longs to be heard, but once given the opportunity to speak, still manage to choke on the attention.  I am one who longs for attention but once I receive it, I die of embarrassment.  Heck, even on the internet I am ignored but I know that if I received a lot of attention of my blog, I'd get self conscious.  It seems as though I'm insatiable (lol).

HOWEVER, after ranting and yaking your ear off, I have decided to put these annoying thoughts behind me.  My devotion today told me that Job had it a heck of a lot worse than anything any human can attest to.  It reminded me to put my faith in God.  So therefore, I will press on.  Even if it gets hard (and believe me, it is) and even if I want nothing more than to shut my computer down right now, crawl in to my bed, and cry for the disappointment that I am half sure I will experience in the future, I must look ahead.  This is MY dream.  God will give me the power to overcome any situation.  That doesn't mean I'm given a magic wand and all my problems disappear in a heart beat. I'm saying that for now, I will look in the mirror and say "God made that beautiful girl infront of me" (and believe it!)

For anyone reading, you ARE beautiful, just like me.
Your dreams can happen, provided its what God wants you to do.
We can do this. "I (WE) can do all things through Christ who STRENGTHENS me (US)".